Just a few more days towards the end of April, and I cannot wait for it to pass me by. This has been a month of chaos, a soupy mess of events both good and bad and everything in-between... I sure am looking forward to the chaos settling down so that I may reflect upon them with a clearer mind and, especially, get a breather. A much needed breather, too.
Work has been real hectic, to the point I wished I could clone two copies of myself 'cause that's what it felt like I needed. It is the typical peak period within a product lifecycle, and adding to it a sprinkle of wrinkles (hehe, rhymed~) makes for days that make me find more paperwork at the end of the day than when I started. Pile on a slew of other tangent tasks running in parallel and it starts to feel like I'm in washing machine in rinse mode. I do believe it is time for me to put my time management under the microscope as it feels I have strayed/breached some of my rules that have kept me effective all these years.
On the personal front, it has thankfully been a wild and fulfilling month. Have gone on a hike almost every weekend and that really helped me keep my mental focus in check. I know it will sound ridiculous, but hiking or most outdoor activities do help me relax. I don't know if it is because of the green, or the deep sleep that comes after, or just the anticipation and joy of playing in the water... assuming there was a waterfall/river spot for a given hike. Either way, each hike has been a fun-filled experience that I wouldn't trade for anything else, and I do look forward for more in the months ahead.
Now, the hikes being fun and all, they did not come without their share of problems. The last hike we had involved a short road trip North. Probably from something we ate that day, it led to the lot of us getting well acquainted with the lavatory for the next few days. I think I lost almost 3 kgs in 2 days... mostly from dehydration. To this day, appetite has not quite returned to its normal levels, but at least the body has been recovering well. Still kind of worried for a friend who has not quite recovered as much as the rest of us... but I suppose it only needs time.
On a separate note, I had to cancel a dive trip to the east coast due to work commitments. Really sucks to have to make that call, but it has always been an occupational hazard where my job role is concerned. I just never had to call off a trip this big (relative to its cost) and I am more disappointed of the investment lost rather than the opportunity. I can always plan the trip again, but the non-refundable amount also means that its not a simple task of channeling the funds for another activity. I need to budget again for a future trip, and I sure could use a good relaxing trip after the heavyweight experience April is proving to be. Another positive side to it; it was a good call. I sure needed the time to be in office to monitor things in the most crucial of moments and the trip would have been for naught if I were to return to be greeted by an amalgamation of outstanding tasks that will pile-up on an already ridiculous pile.
To compensate though... there were some really nice casual activities. I did my first, mini-round of shopping to restore the state of my wardrobe. I now officially have a regular for playing pool/darts/etc. There are always fun wagers associated to each game, and the sessions have been amazingly fun. Haven't been playing the games regularly enough in recent years, so playing them now is both a realization of that (embarrassing?) fact and an exercise in improving (albeit, with the occasional hilarious outcome). I foresee this as a potentially recurring activity... and do hope it heads that way. I see potential for it to trigger interest in exploring new activities, and that is something I always welcome =)
Hrm... all-in-all, April doesn't sound all too bad now that I sprawled all that on this post. I still look forward to it ending, but I wouldn't trade the chaos that it was for anything else. I was fatigued, exhilarated, happy, occasionally confused, etc. but it was a good month to reflect upon.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Sunday, April 06, 2014
Reboot
The months of recent memory have been vastly different experiences than I am typically accustomed to. This is not a comment based on things that happen around me, but more about how I've been reevaluating things about me...
I don't know what sparked the change, but the past 6-8 months have indeed marked a change in how I reflect upon my surrounding, upon the lifestyle I wanted to live and even the kinds of choices I am making on the personal front. Thankfully, they've all been relatively positive though I'm not sure if it is a phase, or its a natural evolution of my personality.
For starters, I have been slowly and gradually cleaning up my expenses. Trimming the unnecessary and investing (not the literal investment, sorry.. at least not much) in productive channels. It is work in progress, and though I have not seen the kind of savings growth I was hoping for, it has been growing better compared to the year before. More gratifying is the notion that I still have plenty of areas to trim and optimize, and I want to keep at it. Surprisingly, it hasn't affected my lifestyle much... another indicator that I have indeed been tackling the 'fluff' in my life throughout this endeavor. I like it!
Physical activities have become a more consistent part of my life too. I've always been active throughout my childhood and education years, even right up to the early days of my career. Somewhere along the line, the frequency or intensity (or both!) tapered off. Strange as it may seem, living a life fueled by an engine running on overdrive (aka high-metabolism) makes it very easy to spot when your body is 'adjusting' to the reduced activity. Age does affect metabolism, hence all the more reason to stay active. The body has a way to remind you in less subtle ways. Reaction time reduces, appetite decreases and even cold tolerance drops. Got me worried when I first noticed it about 2.5 years ago, so I vowed to get active again when I joined my current job.
In many ways, I have kept to that vow, just with a lot more consistency and vigor in the past few months. I do regular workouts at home now. Though not the intense 30-minutes, 3 times a week regime that most people preach, I'm doing the minimum every other day to at least gradually pump up my stamina and more importantly maintain whatever I have gained. Muscle memory is NOT programmed into my genes, so doing simple workouts is just a way to keep the engine running... though I am looking into making this a stricter regime. I sprinkle a dose of badminton, a dash of Ping-Pong, some jogging, and the occasional hikes to top off my activity list. Been working wonders and, as an added bonus, I've also been discovering more places to have simple good times in Malaysia.
Then there's the random stuff. I've actually not been that comfortable with my wardrobe for some time now... yes, my wardrobe! Maybe its the times, or maybe I'm just finally getting comfortable with my physique. I regularly coin the term that I am now at an ideal weight, just a minor issue with the distribution of it =Þ I've been skinny (REAL skinny) my entire life and my frame is still small, though I sure have a lot more substance now than I did 5 years (or more) ago. I look back at myself in years past, and I look at my wardrobe... and I clearly see someone who was taking all the wrong decisions in projecting his self image. Odd to hear someone admit to that? Well, being honest about it has done nothing but help me respect myself that much more.
Which, naturally, brought me to my activity this weekend. I did some much needed cleaning up of the ol' wardrobe. I sifted through ALL my clothes and kept the necessary for now, dumped the useless and packed up the rest for charity. Want to know the results? I trimmed my wardrobe to 1/3rd of what it was! O M G... I either had a lot of junk, or I seriously changed a hell of a lot more than I bargained for, haha.
It also means that I will need to go shopping soon; it has been long overdue... Just in time too as my budget confirms I am ready for it =D First, I need to hunt down a good tailor for making bespoked shirts... Mission begins!
I don't know what sparked the change, but the past 6-8 months have indeed marked a change in how I reflect upon my surrounding, upon the lifestyle I wanted to live and even the kinds of choices I am making on the personal front. Thankfully, they've all been relatively positive though I'm not sure if it is a phase, or its a natural evolution of my personality.
For starters, I have been slowly and gradually cleaning up my expenses. Trimming the unnecessary and investing (not the literal investment, sorry.. at least not much) in productive channels. It is work in progress, and though I have not seen the kind of savings growth I was hoping for, it has been growing better compared to the year before. More gratifying is the notion that I still have plenty of areas to trim and optimize, and I want to keep at it. Surprisingly, it hasn't affected my lifestyle much... another indicator that I have indeed been tackling the 'fluff' in my life throughout this endeavor. I like it!
Physical activities have become a more consistent part of my life too. I've always been active throughout my childhood and education years, even right up to the early days of my career. Somewhere along the line, the frequency or intensity (or both!) tapered off. Strange as it may seem, living a life fueled by an engine running on overdrive (aka high-metabolism) makes it very easy to spot when your body is 'adjusting' to the reduced activity. Age does affect metabolism, hence all the more reason to stay active. The body has a way to remind you in less subtle ways. Reaction time reduces, appetite decreases and even cold tolerance drops. Got me worried when I first noticed it about 2.5 years ago, so I vowed to get active again when I joined my current job.
In many ways, I have kept to that vow, just with a lot more consistency and vigor in the past few months. I do regular workouts at home now. Though not the intense 30-minutes, 3 times a week regime that most people preach, I'm doing the minimum every other day to at least gradually pump up my stamina and more importantly maintain whatever I have gained. Muscle memory is NOT programmed into my genes, so doing simple workouts is just a way to keep the engine running... though I am looking into making this a stricter regime. I sprinkle a dose of badminton, a dash of Ping-Pong, some jogging, and the occasional hikes to top off my activity list. Been working wonders and, as an added bonus, I've also been discovering more places to have simple good times in Malaysia.
Then there's the random stuff. I've actually not been that comfortable with my wardrobe for some time now... yes, my wardrobe! Maybe its the times, or maybe I'm just finally getting comfortable with my physique. I regularly coin the term that I am now at an ideal weight, just a minor issue with the distribution of it =Þ I've been skinny (REAL skinny) my entire life and my frame is still small, though I sure have a lot more substance now than I did 5 years (or more) ago. I look back at myself in years past, and I look at my wardrobe... and I clearly see someone who was taking all the wrong decisions in projecting his self image. Odd to hear someone admit to that? Well, being honest about it has done nothing but help me respect myself that much more.
Which, naturally, brought me to my activity this weekend. I did some much needed cleaning up of the ol' wardrobe. I sifted through ALL my clothes and kept the necessary for now, dumped the useless and packed up the rest for charity. Want to know the results? I trimmed my wardrobe to 1/3rd of what it was! O M G... I either had a lot of junk, or I seriously changed a hell of a lot more than I bargained for, haha.
It also means that I will need to go shopping soon; it has been long overdue... Just in time too as my budget confirms I am ready for it =D First, I need to hunt down a good tailor for making bespoked shirts... Mission begins!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Defining moments
I wonder how often it is that people reflect upon the identity they have today and trace it back to an event, an individual, or a decision made in the fleeting moments of the many yesterdays. Why am I the person I am today? How different a person would I be if some things, big or small, did not happen the way they did? How would a choice I make today set in motion things that will re-define me in the days ahead?
A conversation in the recent past resurfaced memories from a long way back. I can peg those specific memories as defining moments in my life simply by the nature of how vivid they still are, unaltered by the passing years. Everything from where it took place, who were there, what it felt like... and especially how it changed me... changed everything... It is not a conversation I was too fond of reliving, yet I have... and hence this reflection.
Defining moments like those changed me in more ways than one. Perhaps in the way I perceive action and consequences? Perhaps in how I communicate with people? Or even how I learnt to perceive reality as a mass of gray, rarely black and white? Perhaps it is the discovery of the kind of choices I never want to make again? Perhaps it changed how I value my own gains against that of the people around me... the people closest to me? Or the realization of how far I am capable of going... beyond what people think I am capable of? Regardless of how it has changed me, for better or worse, I will forever be shadowed by such moments.
However, of the many lessons learnt, the most significant have rarely been in a positive light. They say 'laughter is the best medicine'... my counter to that is 'guilt is the worse punishment'.
I admitted it was not a conversation I was eager to relive... but in retrospect, I am glad I did, for it was mildly liberating. Felt an itsy-bitsy-bit lighter talking about it, and this spark of reflection makes me want to look at it objectively. I got pleasantly reminded that there were loose ends that are still open to this day... would I want to try tying them up? Am I curious enough... courageous enough... to hear the unspoken stories?
A conversation in the recent past resurfaced memories from a long way back. I can peg those specific memories as defining moments in my life simply by the nature of how vivid they still are, unaltered by the passing years. Everything from where it took place, who were there, what it felt like... and especially how it changed me... changed everything... It is not a conversation I was too fond of reliving, yet I have... and hence this reflection.
Defining moments like those changed me in more ways than one. Perhaps in the way I perceive action and consequences? Perhaps in how I communicate with people? Or even how I learnt to perceive reality as a mass of gray, rarely black and white? Perhaps it is the discovery of the kind of choices I never want to make again? Perhaps it changed how I value my own gains against that of the people around me... the people closest to me? Or the realization of how far I am capable of going... beyond what people think I am capable of? Regardless of how it has changed me, for better or worse, I will forever be shadowed by such moments.
However, of the many lessons learnt, the most significant have rarely been in a positive light. They say 'laughter is the best medicine'... my counter to that is 'guilt is the worse punishment'.
I admitted it was not a conversation I was eager to relive... but in retrospect, I am glad I did, for it was mildly liberating. Felt an itsy-bitsy-bit lighter talking about it, and this spark of reflection makes me want to look at it objectively. I got pleasantly reminded that there were loose ends that are still open to this day... would I want to try tying them up? Am I curious enough... courageous enough... to hear the unspoken stories?
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Pearl of the Orient, Part 2
This is a city of extremes and, in some ways, experiences an identity crisis.
Among the things that will stand out most noticeably impressive in Shanghai is the skyline. More specifically, the unique and varied skyline. Countless towering buildings adorn the skyline at the heart of Shanghai, yet very rarely will you see a traditional monolithic design to the architecture. What I saw was a city trying to stand out very differently and, in some ways, flaunt its wealth. It is a beautiful sight, indeed, were it not for a few scathing flaws.
Smog.
The bad air pollution hyped by practically the rest-of-the-world is not a joke. There was one particular day during my trip where I had clear blue skies and visibility almost as far as would otherwise be feasible. Every other day, however, was a blur or light dissipated by a thick layer of smog. Where does it come from (literally, overnight)? I did not specifically notice an industrial region near to where I was at, but I find it surprising that the difference was that significant. Vehicle density was high, but not observably more than the average I see in the Klang Valley. The only thing worse than their air pollution situation is the haze in Malaysia (albeit somewhat subsided at the moment). There was a point about 2 weeks ago whereby the haze was so bad, I could smell the smoke even within the safe confines of my home. Shanghai did not have that. You can see the smog, but you cannot smell. It does not make it better, just less noticeable.
Contrasts of lifestyle.
For all its grandiose architecture and advanced infrastructure, one fact will always remain true. In 1990, Shanghai was little more than a small town. Not a single skyscraper in sights back then, and anyone will be able to have a visual comparison of this in the many souvenir shops throughout the city. Postcard collections are available that depict Shanghai of the early 90's and present day. Seeing that will make everything else you see at ground level fall into place.
I do not know the layout of the city well, but I did get to walk around it a little. A common sight I had at the level, walking amongst the streets and alleyways with regular people streaming by, was how contradictory the city image and the lives of its people can be. You can walk for a stretch seeing nothing but new, modern-contemporary or even old-historical architecture. Without a warning, you may suddenly enter an entire area laden with small shop houses or low cost homes, evidently legacies from a time before the metropolitan's existence. It is not just in the sights, mind you. These are people barely scraping by well below the country's minimum wage level. Not everyone is living such a decrepit situation, but I am genuinely alarmed by the disparity of what the city has become and what a lot of the original people of the city are going by.
This is not confined to one area of the city. A 45-minute walk led me through what I can merely summarize as follows: Urban, Slum, Urban, Old city street, Urban, Slum, Urban, etc. It is a recurring theme of contradictions. A popular tourist attraction can be literally beside a slum-like area, only separated by a regular wall.
I don't know why, but this experience has somehow humbled me. To this moment, I have yet to decide if I am in awe of the metropolitan that is Shanghai, or concerned for the people who clearly are living a life in danger of being overwhelmed by a city undergoing a monstrous economical growth.
Among the things that will stand out most noticeably impressive in Shanghai is the skyline. More specifically, the unique and varied skyline. Countless towering buildings adorn the skyline at the heart of Shanghai, yet very rarely will you see a traditional monolithic design to the architecture. What I saw was a city trying to stand out very differently and, in some ways, flaunt its wealth. It is a beautiful sight, indeed, were it not for a few scathing flaws.
Smog.
The bad air pollution hyped by practically the rest-of-the-world is not a joke. There was one particular day during my trip where I had clear blue skies and visibility almost as far as would otherwise be feasible. Every other day, however, was a blur or light dissipated by a thick layer of smog. Where does it come from (literally, overnight)? I did not specifically notice an industrial region near to where I was at, but I find it surprising that the difference was that significant. Vehicle density was high, but not observably more than the average I see in the Klang Valley. The only thing worse than their air pollution situation is the haze in Malaysia (albeit somewhat subsided at the moment). There was a point about 2 weeks ago whereby the haze was so bad, I could smell the smoke even within the safe confines of my home. Shanghai did not have that. You can see the smog, but you cannot smell. It does not make it better, just less noticeable.
Contrasts of lifestyle.
For all its grandiose architecture and advanced infrastructure, one fact will always remain true. In 1990, Shanghai was little more than a small town. Not a single skyscraper in sights back then, and anyone will be able to have a visual comparison of this in the many souvenir shops throughout the city. Postcard collections are available that depict Shanghai of the early 90's and present day. Seeing that will make everything else you see at ground level fall into place.
I do not know the layout of the city well, but I did get to walk around it a little. A common sight I had at the level, walking amongst the streets and alleyways with regular people streaming by, was how contradictory the city image and the lives of its people can be. You can walk for a stretch seeing nothing but new, modern-contemporary or even old-historical architecture. Without a warning, you may suddenly enter an entire area laden with small shop houses or low cost homes, evidently legacies from a time before the metropolitan's existence. It is not just in the sights, mind you. These are people barely scraping by well below the country's minimum wage level. Not everyone is living such a decrepit situation, but I am genuinely alarmed by the disparity of what the city has become and what a lot of the original people of the city are going by.
This is not confined to one area of the city. A 45-minute walk led me through what I can merely summarize as follows: Urban, Slum, Urban, Old city street, Urban, Slum, Urban, etc. It is a recurring theme of contradictions. A popular tourist attraction can be literally beside a slum-like area, only separated by a regular wall.
I don't know why, but this experience has somehow humbled me. To this moment, I have yet to decide if I am in awe of the metropolitan that is Shanghai, or concerned for the people who clearly are living a life in danger of being overwhelmed by a city undergoing a monstrous economical growth.
The simple things in life...
[Found this stuck in my drafts for almost 3.5 years. Thought I'd just put it out there...]
...are what matters the most. Quite often, we make a big deal about the large and noticeable things, people, or events in out lives. The point to ponder, however, is this: how much do you know about the little things in life that we often take for granted? How much do we cherish the truly important things around us?
Sometimes it takes us losing something to truly appreciate its value; that is not limited to just material objects or people, but even opportunities. Having lost it, however, is already one step too late to do the right thing... or is it? That's the question that has been haunting me in recent times. The past year has been laden with trials and opportunities; some I've braved, some I have not. The chilling truth is that regret is a close cousin of loss, and twice as vicious and unforgiving to the psyche.
I've also learnt that regret can be a powerful motivator... provided you get to terms with it and channel all that energy appropriately. That takes an immense amount of drive and willpower which I doubt I have... if it weren't for my friends. Through all this, I realize that no matter how independent one person is, there are times that all the walls of your character just can't hold up... not without the help of friends around you.
They could be the people helping you to stand back up... they could also be the people that you're focusing your regret on, driving you to resolve things because that's how much they matter to you. I've always stood by the philosophy that friends should never be lost; lest they were never friends to begin with. You could say I was a partial hypocrite though... I never lost a friend before, so I never knew the weight of that philosophy.
Today, I can say for a fact... friends are never worth the loss. If you made a mistake, suck it up and fix it. You may fail, you may succeed... uncertainty is life's way to deal with everything. Regret, however, is a feeling you don't want to live with 'coz I know for a fact how much it hurts to have a regret you can never undo. So if you can still breathe and do something about it, do it.
The simple things in life are what really matter...
Friends may seem simple... but never take them for granted.
...are what matters the most. Quite often, we make a big deal about the large and noticeable things, people, or events in out lives. The point to ponder, however, is this: how much do you know about the little things in life that we often take for granted? How much do we cherish the truly important things around us?
Sometimes it takes us losing something to truly appreciate its value; that is not limited to just material objects or people, but even opportunities. Having lost it, however, is already one step too late to do the right thing... or is it? That's the question that has been haunting me in recent times. The past year has been laden with trials and opportunities; some I've braved, some I have not. The chilling truth is that regret is a close cousin of loss, and twice as vicious and unforgiving to the psyche.
I've also learnt that regret can be a powerful motivator... provided you get to terms with it and channel all that energy appropriately. That takes an immense amount of drive and willpower which I doubt I have... if it weren't for my friends. Through all this, I realize that no matter how independent one person is, there are times that all the walls of your character just can't hold up... not without the help of friends around you.
They could be the people helping you to stand back up... they could also be the people that you're focusing your regret on, driving you to resolve things because that's how much they matter to you. I've always stood by the philosophy that friends should never be lost; lest they were never friends to begin with. You could say I was a partial hypocrite though... I never lost a friend before, so I never knew the weight of that philosophy.
Today, I can say for a fact... friends are never worth the loss. If you made a mistake, suck it up and fix it. You may fail, you may succeed... uncertainty is life's way to deal with everything. Regret, however, is a feeling you don't want to live with 'coz I know for a fact how much it hurts to have a regret you can never undo. So if you can still breathe and do something about it, do it.
The simple things in life are what really matter...
Friends may seem simple... but never take them for granted.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Pearl of the Orient, Part 1
The largest city in China by population, Shanghai proved itself a fascinating experience. I had the good fortune to visit it on a short business trip recently, and though I cannot lay claim to having experienced much of it (if at all), it still left me with some lasting impressions. I am tempted to jot these down as I did not take very many photos this time around, and the notion of inking my experience here would help to retain some of what I observed in an already uber-condensed experience. Kicking it off with...
Shanghai drivers are CRAZY!
Or perhaps drivers in China are crazy (!!) but I shall not over-generalize when I have only experienced a very small part of the country. It is by far the most chaotic/heart-dropping traffic experience I have ever had thus far. I haven't been to India or the bustling streets of Bangkok, both seemingly reputed for their equally chaotic traffic experience, so I cannot make a relative comparison. I can, however, compare it to home and it sure makes me appreciate our local drivers a bit (just a bit =P) more.
Most drivers switch lanes more unpredictably than a drunken kung-fu master! When they can't switch over, they honk. And they honk... a LOT! You can hear honking all day and night long, contributing to a unique ambient-noise experience in this city. Most of them have a tendency to step on the brakes on the last moments. One particular driver I had the (unfortunate) chance to get chauffeured by even boldly overtakes on a 3-lane road... on the oncoming traffic lane! How nuts is THAT?! I swear I lost at least 11 years of my life in those few days.
Strangely though, the one thing they don't do so much is speed. They do break the speed limit on the freeway, but I am talking about them doing 100km/h on an 80km/h freeway. At most, I saw someone possibly doing a 110km/h overtaking my taxi. This is in stark contrast with Malaysia, where people would regularly go beyond the 140km/h point on a 90km/h stretch. We have a select few idiots who do the entire zig-zag-I-am-suicidal-and-clearly-overcompensating routine, but the average driver switches lanes judiciously (albeit, less so in the middle of a traffic jam). We do not honk nearly as much, though sometimes I believe we could afford to do so more.
Yet, in all its chaos, I do not think it is more dangerous driving on the roads in Shanghai. I do not know the real statistics, and some (sick) people may say that China could afford to lose a few lives on the road, but it does feel like a harmonious chaos if there ever was anything more oxymoronic than that. People are well aware of the chaos, both pedestrians and drivers alike. Everyone just gets out of each others' way somehow. In the entire trip, I saw neither a vehicular breakdown nor an accident of any kind. I would be hard pressed to go by more than TWO days in a row in Malaysia without seeing either of the above.
What can I take away from this? I appreciate being a driver in Malaysia, no doubt, but I sure cannot fathom being able to drive in the streets of Shanghai. Give me the public transport system or the good ol' leg-o-motive anytime, for I will definitely live a lot longer that way in the Pearl of the Orient.
Shanghai drivers are CRAZY!
Or perhaps drivers in China are crazy (!!) but I shall not over-generalize when I have only experienced a very small part of the country. It is by far the most chaotic/heart-dropping traffic experience I have ever had thus far. I haven't been to India or the bustling streets of Bangkok, both seemingly reputed for their equally chaotic traffic experience, so I cannot make a relative comparison. I can, however, compare it to home and it sure makes me appreciate our local drivers a bit (just a bit =P) more.
Most drivers switch lanes more unpredictably than a drunken kung-fu master! When they can't switch over, they honk. And they honk... a LOT! You can hear honking all day and night long, contributing to a unique ambient-noise experience in this city. Most of them have a tendency to step on the brakes on the last moments. One particular driver I had the (unfortunate) chance to get chauffeured by even boldly overtakes on a 3-lane road... on the oncoming traffic lane! How nuts is THAT?! I swear I lost at least 11 years of my life in those few days.
Strangely though, the one thing they don't do so much is speed. They do break the speed limit on the freeway, but I am talking about them doing 100km/h on an 80km/h freeway. At most, I saw someone possibly doing a 110km/h overtaking my taxi. This is in stark contrast with Malaysia, where people would regularly go beyond the 140km/h point on a 90km/h stretch. We have a select few idiots who do the entire zig-zag-I-am-suicidal-and-clearly-overcompensating routine, but the average driver switches lanes judiciously (albeit, less so in the middle of a traffic jam). We do not honk nearly as much, though sometimes I believe we could afford to do so more.
Yet, in all its chaos, I do not think it is more dangerous driving on the roads in Shanghai. I do not know the real statistics, and some (sick) people may say that China could afford to lose a few lives on the road, but it does feel like a harmonious chaos if there ever was anything more oxymoronic than that. People are well aware of the chaos, both pedestrians and drivers alike. Everyone just gets out of each others' way somehow. In the entire trip, I saw neither a vehicular breakdown nor an accident of any kind. I would be hard pressed to go by more than TWO days in a row in Malaysia without seeing either of the above.
What can I take away from this? I appreciate being a driver in Malaysia, no doubt, but I sure cannot fathom being able to drive in the streets of Shanghai. Give me the public transport system or the good ol' leg-o-motive anytime, for I will definitely live a lot longer that way in the Pearl of the Orient.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Insidious cancer...
I am really not one to look for faults in people, and it comes naturally to assume the best in people unless proven otherwise. Optimism and positivity have always been a foothold I can rely on to connect with people and to also keep me focused on my goals and aspirations. Failure neither makes me lose faith nor keeps me feeling down for too long. I have always seen it as another stepping stone to improve myself. I am a bad competitor (to some) because I don't project my achievements (or lack of) onto others. Instead, I see 'winning' as a sign to step back and see how to improve upon myself and 'losing' as a moment to reflect on how to not disappoint myself again.
Hence, it strikes me as perplexing that I am quite significantly annoyed by some people I know who seem to be the exact opposite of who I am. Always pessimistic; always complaining about something; always projecting outwards and never to themselves. The worst of it? Doing all this, using and not having the guts to throw accusations and their opinions to me directly. Why does it bother me so? For one simple reason...
Cancer.
The thing about cancer is, it is silent. Cancer comes uninvited, spreads slowly without a care, spreading to areas directly and indirectly associated to the point of origin. By the time you detect the problem, most times the effects are already widespread and the damage is done. You can only contain it, but rarely eliminate it.
Replace 'cancer' in the above statement with the name of any one person you know, and the entire statement will make relative sense in describing a person who is 'cancerous' to the environment they dwell in. I am sad to admit I have met people like that way too many times than I care to admit, and even more agitated to admit I know of one person this very moment.
Having a "what is in it for me" attitude every single moment of his/her existence without even thinking about how much/little the said person is giving back just makes me want to call the person out as hypocritical and full of themselves. It is so easy to complain about someone else when you have never placed yourself in another's shoes. News flash! Life is NOT black and white. Just because YOU think something should be done a certain way, it does not mean you will GET to do it that way. However, who am I to stop you from having an opinion, right?
Likewise, who are you to spread your opinion (bordering at slander) without knowing all the facts. I can accept critical feedback, for at least I have something I can act upon. I can accept critical feedback, for at least I can respect you for having the guts to say it out to my face. What I cannot accept is someone going behind the scenes and shaking the resolve of weaker personalities on the basis of what I can only call as exaggerations and embellished 'truths'. That serpentine attitude does not affect me... but it affects the people around me. A wrong seed planted, is a seed planted nevertheless. It may change people's perception of me, but I am at peace with that for I know I cannot appease everyone. However, people influence the environment in ways we may not be able to anticipate nor control. THAT pisses me off to no end because I cannot forgive people who change the world I tread in to be infused with negativity and pessimism.
I am really not one to look for faults in people, and it comes naturally to assume the best in people unless proven otherwise. I know of one person who has indeed proven it as such.
What scares me the most is that in all my years, I have not felt such animosity to anyone.
Hence, it strikes me as perplexing that I am quite significantly annoyed by some people I know who seem to be the exact opposite of who I am. Always pessimistic; always complaining about something; always projecting outwards and never to themselves. The worst of it? Doing all this, using and not having the guts to throw accusations and their opinions to me directly. Why does it bother me so? For one simple reason...
Cancer.
The thing about cancer is, it is silent. Cancer comes uninvited, spreads slowly without a care, spreading to areas directly and indirectly associated to the point of origin. By the time you detect the problem, most times the effects are already widespread and the damage is done. You can only contain it, but rarely eliminate it.
Replace 'cancer' in the above statement with the name of any one person you know, and the entire statement will make relative sense in describing a person who is 'cancerous' to the environment they dwell in. I am sad to admit I have met people like that way too many times than I care to admit, and even more agitated to admit I know of one person this very moment.
Having a "what is in it for me" attitude every single moment of his/her existence without even thinking about how much/little the said person is giving back just makes me want to call the person out as hypocritical and full of themselves. It is so easy to complain about someone else when you have never placed yourself in another's shoes. News flash! Life is NOT black and white. Just because YOU think something should be done a certain way, it does not mean you will GET to do it that way. However, who am I to stop you from having an opinion, right?
Likewise, who are you to spread your opinion (bordering at slander) without knowing all the facts. I can accept critical feedback, for at least I have something I can act upon. I can accept critical feedback, for at least I can respect you for having the guts to say it out to my face. What I cannot accept is someone going behind the scenes and shaking the resolve of weaker personalities on the basis of what I can only call as exaggerations and embellished 'truths'. That serpentine attitude does not affect me... but it affects the people around me. A wrong seed planted, is a seed planted nevertheless. It may change people's perception of me, but I am at peace with that for I know I cannot appease everyone. However, people influence the environment in ways we may not be able to anticipate nor control. THAT pisses me off to no end because I cannot forgive people who change the world I tread in to be infused with negativity and pessimism.
I am really not one to look for faults in people, and it comes naturally to assume the best in people unless proven otherwise. I know of one person who has indeed proven it as such.
What scares me the most is that in all my years, I have not felt such animosity to anyone.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Maybe I should just...
Give up.
It takes so much energy and mental fortitude just to keep the focus, trying things, considering possibilities and outcomes, anticipating responses, unpredictable outcomes and just plain headaches. Where should I draw the line? Perhaps, I shouldn't have even started. Can't help thinking I've just been ****ing wasting my time on the matter. My time is way more valuable than what it is being taken for.
The only problem is I wouldn't know where to focus all that saved energy if I were to stop. I'm going to have to make November an awesome month about ME. I earned the right to be a *little* selfish, haven't I?
On another note, work has been great, as always. I can only hope life outside of work ever gets as rewarding. Yes, life's a bitch. I understand that in the context of the issues plaguing our world, my rant is inconsequential and nothing more than exactly what it is; a rant. However, I won't delude myself into thinking I can do much to change the world alone, but I wouldn't deny I acknowledge there are things I can contribute. I just have the right to worry about my self... and I choose this short moment to say: For now, to hell with the rest of the world.
P/S: I'm going to look back at this post someday and laugh about it or even curse my immaturity, but it is my choice to make and I will be better learned when that time comes.
It takes so much energy and mental fortitude just to keep the focus, trying things, considering possibilities and outcomes, anticipating responses, unpredictable outcomes and just plain headaches. Where should I draw the line? Perhaps, I shouldn't have even started. Can't help thinking I've just been ****ing wasting my time on the matter. My time is way more valuable than what it is being taken for.
The only problem is I wouldn't know where to focus all that saved energy if I were to stop. I'm going to have to make November an awesome month about ME. I earned the right to be a *little* selfish, haven't I?
On another note, work has been great, as always. I can only hope life outside of work ever gets as rewarding. Yes, life's a bitch. I understand that in the context of the issues plaguing our world, my rant is inconsequential and nothing more than exactly what it is; a rant. However, I won't delude myself into thinking I can do much to change the world alone, but I wouldn't deny I acknowledge there are things I can contribute. I just have the right to worry about my self... and I choose this short moment to say: For now, to hell with the rest of the world.
P/S: I'm going to look back at this post someday and laugh about it or even curse my immaturity, but it is my choice to make and I will be better learned when that time comes.
Sunday, September 01, 2013
Hypocrisy
For someone who spends a major bulk of his professional hours developing people and instilling a sense of optimism and constructive reflection, I sure do seem to have trouble applying it upon myself personally.
I wonder why I have this distinct and pronounced duality. Where it involved my professional life, I feel more vibrant and daring... doing and saying what it takes to get the job done and the right people empowered to get it done. I rarely doubt my capabilities, and my instinct have always proven to be reliable and accurate. I can talk to anyone and everyone, and I can keep things in control should things seem to head awry.
But then there's the personal side of things, and it's a whole different ball game. I used to apply methods from my professional personality to how I dealt with things in my personal life... it hasn't always proven a wise thing, but that was more a mistake in when I applied them (or shouldn't have) more than anything else. I have insecurities in areas most people wouldn't think I do... and I feel the burden of a shadow that may be blown out of proportion purely from these insecurities.
Strangely... I can't quite say how much of both personalities have changed and been affected by the other in recent years. I can't even say which is representative of the true me.
Does that make me normal?
I wonder why I have this distinct and pronounced duality. Where it involved my professional life, I feel more vibrant and daring... doing and saying what it takes to get the job done and the right people empowered to get it done. I rarely doubt my capabilities, and my instinct have always proven to be reliable and accurate. I can talk to anyone and everyone, and I can keep things in control should things seem to head awry.
But then there's the personal side of things, and it's a whole different ball game. I used to apply methods from my professional personality to how I dealt with things in my personal life... it hasn't always proven a wise thing, but that was more a mistake in when I applied them (or shouldn't have) more than anything else. I have insecurities in areas most people wouldn't think I do... and I feel the burden of a shadow that may be blown out of proportion purely from these insecurities.
Strangely... I can't quite say how much of both personalities have changed and been affected by the other in recent years. I can't even say which is representative of the true me.
Does that make me normal?
Friday, August 30, 2013
One step forward...
And so I did...
Contemplating an action, and executing it are two very different things. Contemplation leads to nothing but worries and endless pondering of the what-ifs and the could-haves. Action... can lead to anything; anticipated or otherwise.
One thing I learnt is that there are a lot more perspectives to an action than we bother considering in the first place. I made an important decision recently, and though the outcome itself has not yet manifested, the impact of the action has not gone unnoticed.
The burden of contemplation is indeed heavy if left unchecked, and I now feel tremendously lighter. The decision I took may not be smartest choice... but a valid choice nonetheless. It may not have been done the best way I could... but I did it the only way I knew how. It may not be a right action to take... but if it were a mistake, it was mine to make.
However, with every action we take, we should expect consequences. I don't know what mine will be. All I can do is take the days ahead one moment at a time. What I do know is this...
... I would do it all over again, if I had to, but I wouldn't do it any other way either. I just feel good to know that I have one less regret.
Contemplating an action, and executing it are two very different things. Contemplation leads to nothing but worries and endless pondering of the what-ifs and the could-haves. Action... can lead to anything; anticipated or otherwise.
One thing I learnt is that there are a lot more perspectives to an action than we bother considering in the first place. I made an important decision recently, and though the outcome itself has not yet manifested, the impact of the action has not gone unnoticed.
The burden of contemplation is indeed heavy if left unchecked, and I now feel tremendously lighter. The decision I took may not be smartest choice... but a valid choice nonetheless. It may not have been done the best way I could... but I did it the only way I knew how. It may not be a right action to take... but if it were a mistake, it was mine to make.
However, with every action we take, we should expect consequences. I don't know what mine will be. All I can do is take the days ahead one moment at a time. What I do know is this...
... I would do it all over again, if I had to, but I wouldn't do it any other way either. I just feel good to know that I have one less regret.
Monday, August 19, 2013
It is a choice...
Every one of us has gone through our fair share of ups and downs, some more so than others. Most people recover and move on when life beats them down, others don't do so well. I fall amongst those who recovered, but I admit to being occasionally hounded by regrets of the past and the occasional fear from the over-rationalizing 'could be' part of me.
The danger of having that side to our character lies in its ability to make us stagnant, not recovering but not regressing either. Some might even fall into a depression with the right (wrong?) circumstances and triggers, but (thankfully) that is not me :) Which brings me back to the original point of stagnation.
Stagnation calls upon a feeling of not moving forward, not gaining something, not living life to its fullest. There are so many things to do, places to see, people to meet, ideas to develop and curiosities to explore. Why do we so easily tend to succumb to the fears of what-could-be and find difficulty in just doing things and see what actually happens?
Realizing that... what should I do next to break the vicious cycle? I will soon find out :)
The danger of having that side to our character lies in its ability to make us stagnant, not recovering but not regressing either. Some might even fall into a depression with the right (wrong?) circumstances and triggers, but (thankfully) that is not me :) Which brings me back to the original point of stagnation.
Stagnation calls upon a feeling of not moving forward, not gaining something, not living life to its fullest. There are so many things to do, places to see, people to meet, ideas to develop and curiosities to explore. Why do we so easily tend to succumb to the fears of what-could-be and find difficulty in just doing things and see what actually happens?
Realizing that... what should I do next to break the vicious cycle? I will soon find out :)
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
What drives me forward?
It is not very often that I consciously decide to write or talk about work. It is not a decision rooted in disdain or contempt of the company I work for, and fearing the repercussions if the revelation were to be discovered. Au contraire, if I were to really talk about work, it would be anything but negative. Perhaps that is why I feel compelled to at least take the opportunity to make a brief mention of it somehow.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Reflections on Remorse
I was having dinner with a close friend just the other night, and the topics of discussion were thought provoking and interesting; as it always has been. Amidst all that chatter, somehow the discussion was led towards what shaped me as the individual I am today.
The content of that discussion is not up for sharing, but I will say this; it has triggered a momentary need to rekindle, reflect and acknowledge the events in my life and the values they have instilled in me... both good and bad.
The simplest, most profound point I feel compelled to remind myself and everyone I know is this: when it comes to people you love, there is no better day to forgive than today, for yesterday has already gone by and tomorrow may never come. The worst kinds of mistake we can make are the kind we cannot fix or change...
The content of that discussion is not up for sharing, but I will say this; it has triggered a momentary need to rekindle, reflect and acknowledge the events in my life and the values they have instilled in me... both good and bad.
The simplest, most profound point I feel compelled to remind myself and everyone I know is this: when it comes to people you love, there is no better day to forgive than today, for yesterday has already gone by and tomorrow may never come. The worst kinds of mistake we can make are the kind we cannot fix or change...
Sunday, April 07, 2013
Life is like the weather...
...it's getting ridiculously unpredictable.
Relative to the true issues striking humanity in the needier parts of the world, then my life is indeed a marvel of joy and happiness. I am not ignorant, but I can't help evaluating the state of matters against the possibilities available in my immediate environment. I *am* happy, but it can get exhausting at times... mentally at least.
Worse still, it is the kind of exhaustion that sleep doesn't get rid of.
I need an escape experience... camping? Backpacking? Road trip? I'll keep a lookout...
Relative to the true issues striking humanity in the needier parts of the world, then my life is indeed a marvel of joy and happiness. I am not ignorant, but I can't help evaluating the state of matters against the possibilities available in my immediate environment. I *am* happy, but it can get exhausting at times... mentally at least.
Worse still, it is the kind of exhaustion that sleep doesn't get rid of.
I need an escape experience... camping? Backpacking? Road trip? I'll keep a lookout...
Saturday, December 22, 2012
The end that never came
The coming of the apocalypse is a topic no stranger to most. After the (uneventful) passing of the Y2K bug at the turn of the millennium, it didn't take long for modern civilization to latch on to a new doomsday theory. Amongst the many, 2012 was the most famous theory and even then there were countless possible scenarios that could play out the end of days for us.
It is now December 22, 2012; the day after the 'end'. The sun shone this morning brighter than yesterday, and people were about doing their usual Saturday morning affairs. The skies have cleared from the massive downpour of the night before, and were it not for the mud stains on my car, even the rain seemed like a distant memory. If yesterday was meant to remembered in history, personal or otherwise, it definitely had nothing to do with the destruction of civilization as we knew it. Disappointing? Maybe. That on its own would make a topic worthy of the coffee table, so I shall not indulge it further.
All was not lost. Amidst the growing anticipation of believers and non-believers of the end of days, life moved on like the unrelenting flow of time. Matters that I hinged my hopes on came to a surprising fruition, with a dose of events that I deemed absurd or unlikely to ever occur contributing as a balancing factor for the day.
If anything, yesterday was a great day of reflection. It has been a while since I pondered over the value of the simpler things in life, and a much needed jolt restored that perception. As jarring as it may have been, I am glad for every moment that occurred on this day. Even the seemingly bad things in the day had a positive perspective to them if I just took a moment and stepped back.
Bad things happen; that's just as true as saying good things happen. They are both valid events in our lives. Us humans have a tendency to yearn for the good, yet how many among us are really grateful for every moment of good bestowed to us? On the opposite spectrum, we tend to wish away the bad, yet we respond more strongly to such events. How often do we ask the question "What is the upside to this?" when something bad happens? I am in the opinion that it won't always have a reassuring answer, but I also believe it will be positive more times than not if we just spare a moment to reflect.
On this day, I was reminded that when a bad thing happens, it *has* happened. No amount of worrying or cursing will change that fact. The only thing I could do is, take a step forward and live the present with what it has to offer. If the past were to bring more hurdles, leave them to be handled as they come... for at least I now know what will come. Accept the past, live the moment, and embrace the future. I have preached this to myself throughout my years, but having life remind me about their simple truths has humbled me. For that, I am grateful indeed. For the great things that happened on the same day, I acknowledge them and cannot wish for more. I suppose I got what I needed and not necessarily what I wanted. Those too I will accept wholeheartedly as what they were.
Accept the past...
Live the moment...
Embrace the future...
- Me, Dec 22 2012
It is now December 22, 2012; the day after the 'end'. The sun shone this morning brighter than yesterday, and people were about doing their usual Saturday morning affairs. The skies have cleared from the massive downpour of the night before, and were it not for the mud stains on my car, even the rain seemed like a distant memory. If yesterday was meant to remembered in history, personal or otherwise, it definitely had nothing to do with the destruction of civilization as we knew it. Disappointing? Maybe. That on its own would make a topic worthy of the coffee table, so I shall not indulge it further.
All was not lost. Amidst the growing anticipation of believers and non-believers of the end of days, life moved on like the unrelenting flow of time. Matters that I hinged my hopes on came to a surprising fruition, with a dose of events that I deemed absurd or unlikely to ever occur contributing as a balancing factor for the day.
If anything, yesterday was a great day of reflection. It has been a while since I pondered over the value of the simpler things in life, and a much needed jolt restored that perception. As jarring as it may have been, I am glad for every moment that occurred on this day. Even the seemingly bad things in the day had a positive perspective to them if I just took a moment and stepped back.
Bad things happen; that's just as true as saying good things happen. They are both valid events in our lives. Us humans have a tendency to yearn for the good, yet how many among us are really grateful for every moment of good bestowed to us? On the opposite spectrum, we tend to wish away the bad, yet we respond more strongly to such events. How often do we ask the question "What is the upside to this?" when something bad happens? I am in the opinion that it won't always have a reassuring answer, but I also believe it will be positive more times than not if we just spare a moment to reflect.
On this day, I was reminded that when a bad thing happens, it *has* happened. No amount of worrying or cursing will change that fact. The only thing I could do is, take a step forward and live the present with what it has to offer. If the past were to bring more hurdles, leave them to be handled as they come... for at least I now know what will come. Accept the past, live the moment, and embrace the future. I have preached this to myself throughout my years, but having life remind me about their simple truths has humbled me. For that, I am grateful indeed. For the great things that happened on the same day, I acknowledge them and cannot wish for more. I suppose I got what I needed and not necessarily what I wanted. Those too I will accept wholeheartedly as what they were.
Accept the past...
Live the moment...
Embrace the future...
- Me, Dec 22 2012
Monday, December 03, 2012
Reflections of 2012
It sounds so cliché to quote 'time flies', so I'll coin a brand new phrase of my own...
Time wooshes!
I know; it sounds ridiculous. That's also the same thing people said against believers of a spherical earth... bah =P
It is December and the clock is ticking closer and closer to 2013. I cannot help but ponder and reflect upon 2012 thus far. Too soon? Nonsense! It is never too soon to reflect, especially on a year that has been nothing but amazing. It is not all sugar and honey, though that only reinforces that reality is always a balance of the ups and downs, tightly coupled with how we get back up after either spikes.
Time wooshes!
I know; it sounds ridiculous. That's also the same thing people said against believers of a spherical earth... bah =P
It is December and the clock is ticking closer and closer to 2013. I cannot help but ponder and reflect upon 2012 thus far. Too soon? Nonsense! It is never too soon to reflect, especially on a year that has been nothing but amazing. It is not all sugar and honey, though that only reinforces that reality is always a balance of the ups and downs, tightly coupled with how we get back up after either spikes.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Long weekend of memories
BALI!!!
The Indonesian island played host to a truly breathtaking and memory-inscribing experience for a collective group of family and friends over the past few days. One wedding, two united families, and an entourage to celebrate the occasion. Bali 2012 will go down in my books as a true highlight of moments thus far in my life.
Amidst all the celebrations, the fun-spirited late night pool parties, chill-out chit-chats and sight-seeing, there was one thing I observed and reflected upon a lot. The dominant theme of the whole trip: friends. To me, that is. I was amongst friends, both old and new. A major portion of them were indeed a family of their own, albeit my friends nevertheless. As much as I deeply enjoyed it all, it does make me sad that I almost never have this kind of fun with my own family. I only ever experience this... with friends.
It is, by no means, a fault of my family. It is, by no means, an issue of funding a trip abroad. It is merely a flaw in how my bonds are with family. Odd as it seems, I am most 'me' with friends. I do things, discuss things and share about things with friends that I would either rarely or never talk to with family. I am more interactive with some of my closest friend's parents than I do with my own!
If THAT can change for the better, I would be none the happier. However, the level of camaraderie that I may wish for is probably unattainable in this lifetime as I'm nowhere near as close to any of my relatives. I am glad, though, that the closest amongst my friends do know my immediate family...
...and perhaps that may open up opportunities to, at least, get those truly closest to me (by blood) to witness the aspects of my personality that they may not know/understand today.
I should plan a great holiday getaway with my family and close friends sometime soon :)
The Indonesian island played host to a truly breathtaking and memory-inscribing experience for a collective group of family and friends over the past few days. One wedding, two united families, and an entourage to celebrate the occasion. Bali 2012 will go down in my books as a true highlight of moments thus far in my life.
Amidst all the celebrations, the fun-spirited late night pool parties, chill-out chit-chats and sight-seeing, there was one thing I observed and reflected upon a lot. The dominant theme of the whole trip: friends. To me, that is. I was amongst friends, both old and new. A major portion of them were indeed a family of their own, albeit my friends nevertheless. As much as I deeply enjoyed it all, it does make me sad that I almost never have this kind of fun with my own family. I only ever experience this... with friends.
It is, by no means, a fault of my family. It is, by no means, an issue of funding a trip abroad. It is merely a flaw in how my bonds are with family. Odd as it seems, I am most 'me' with friends. I do things, discuss things and share about things with friends that I would either rarely or never talk to with family. I am more interactive with some of my closest friend's parents than I do with my own!
If THAT can change for the better, I would be none the happier. However, the level of camaraderie that I may wish for is probably unattainable in this lifetime as I'm nowhere near as close to any of my relatives. I am glad, though, that the closest amongst my friends do know my immediate family...
...and perhaps that may open up opportunities to, at least, get those truly closest to me (by blood) to witness the aspects of my personality that they may not know/understand today.
I should plan a great holiday getaway with my family and close friends sometime soon :)
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Insomnia?
It's 3am (almost) and I'm still awake. been a while since I stayed up this late. Hanging out at the local mamak joint until 12:30am does make it entirely my fault why I'm still awake :P
Had a great time catching up and chit-chating with a bunch of close friends... closest I've ever had and probably ever will. As usual, we covered everything from tech to local politics to travel and then some. One recurring theme across several unrelated topics was: too much information does more damage than good. The power of choice is deemed as the greatest gift god gave man, but too much choice can be counter productive. The biggest contributor to overwhelming choices is, indeed, an over-abundance of information.
I totally agree.
Sometimes... it's just better to not know some things. Makes the choices you need to make a lot... simpler. On that note, some people should have just shut-the-hell-up... thing's would've been a lot less complicated.
Had a great time catching up and chit-chating with a bunch of close friends... closest I've ever had and probably ever will. As usual, we covered everything from tech to local politics to travel and then some. One recurring theme across several unrelated topics was: too much information does more damage than good. The power of choice is deemed as the greatest gift god gave man, but too much choice can be counter productive. The biggest contributor to overwhelming choices is, indeed, an over-abundance of information.
I totally agree.
Sometimes... it's just better to not know some things. Makes the choices you need to make a lot... simpler. On that note, some people should have just shut-the-hell-up... thing's would've been a lot less complicated.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Miracle of life
It is wonderful news each time we hear about a newcomer into our family. The newest-kid-on-the-block is none other than my cousin sister's newborn from last week. Got to hold him during a visit this past weekend... darn, they're fragile. Hahaha! However, they sure do have the most hypnotizing stare ever, don't they :)
It is no secret that I've always been rather attached to kids. Must be something I inherited from my dad; he absolutely adored children. Yup, lucky me for having a great dad! =D I can't say for sure that I adore them... I just know I get along much better with them than half the adults I meet daily. I am not entirely sure what law of the universe is causing that, though I could try deducing the reasons.
I would lay a wager that it is likely something to do with their innocence. There's no deception or mysterious layers to peel off a kid. True, kids do lie every once in a while, but it is different. There is rarely malice in it... and quite often, you can see the lie a mile away. Hahaha... the wonders of innocence. I guess, for me, having no need to figure out hidden meanings is a breath of fresh air and downright relaxing.
Plus, kids do say and think up wildly unexpected things. It does wonders listening to the stuff they can come up with, given the chance. It is also disappointing that we lose that ability to... think beyond limits (?)... as we grow up.
I guess ultimately, it is nice to witness someone who neither understands nor is burdened by the weights of this world. It is also why it hurts that much more to witness children having to face the stark weight of reality at such an innocent age.
A friend once told me that a pet dog is like a child... albeit a child that never grows up. Maybe that's why the next best thing I look forward to doing while at a family gathering is to play with the house pets, haha. The simple joys of life.
It is no secret that I've always been rather attached to kids. Must be something I inherited from my dad; he absolutely adored children. Yup, lucky me for having a great dad! =D I can't say for sure that I adore them... I just know I get along much better with them than half the adults I meet daily. I am not entirely sure what law of the universe is causing that, though I could try deducing the reasons.
I would lay a wager that it is likely something to do with their innocence. There's no deception or mysterious layers to peel off a kid. True, kids do lie every once in a while, but it is different. There is rarely malice in it... and quite often, you can see the lie a mile away. Hahaha... the wonders of innocence. I guess, for me, having no need to figure out hidden meanings is a breath of fresh air and downright relaxing.
Plus, kids do say and think up wildly unexpected things. It does wonders listening to the stuff they can come up with, given the chance. It is also disappointing that we lose that ability to... think beyond limits (?)... as we grow up.
I guess ultimately, it is nice to witness someone who neither understands nor is burdened by the weights of this world. It is also why it hurts that much more to witness children having to face the stark weight of reality at such an innocent age.
A friend once told me that a pet dog is like a child... albeit a child that never grows up. Maybe that's why the next best thing I look forward to doing while at a family gathering is to play with the house pets, haha. The simple joys of life.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Human limits
How selfish are we capable of? i ponder upon this as I just had the most selfish thought I've ever had cross my mind.
Left me in a momentary conflict of guilt and hope. Guilt won, but does it make me a lesser person for having the thought in the first place?
Left me in a momentary conflict of guilt and hope. Guilt won, but does it make me a lesser person for having the thought in the first place?
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